Who would know more about how couples destroy their marriages than an experienced divorce lawyer? Elliott Poland has been practicing family law since 1968. He told The Independent there are three mistakes couples make that inevitably doom a marriage. The first is shutting down communication. Poland says many couples fail to resolve conflict by cutting off communication and letting resentment smolder. He says the old adage, "Never go to bed angry" is sound wisdom.

Poland says many couples also ignore warning signs the other is being unfaithful. If one partner's routine undergoes unexplained, sudden changes, and/or they change their manner of dress, & hairstyle, these are signs of an affair. Infidelity stems from a lack of affirmation in the marital relationship. The longer this continues, the less the chance of saving the marriage.

He also says many people get married for the wrong reasons. Loneliness, the "biological clock," wealth & social standing are not the foundation for a lasting mutually gratifying marital union. Have you been divorced? If so, I'll bet one or more of these  elements were factors. I've been married & divorced once. My experience bears out Mr. Poland's point.

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