Five Reasons Cajuns Will Survive The Zombie Apocalypse
By now, we all know that the zombie apocalypse is simply a matter of when, not if. As a self-proclaimed zombie aficionado and a South Louisianan, I've already mapped out my plan for the undead takeover. The way I see it, South Louisiana is the perfect place to be for the zombie apocalypse, and Cajuns are the perfect folks to survive it. You don't think so? Well I'll prove it to you...
1) We Can Cook And Eat Anything - Cajuns can catch, trap, clean and cook any fish or game, grow vegetables almost anywhere and are more self-sufficient than most any other in people America. Not only will we not go hungry during the zombie apocalypse, but we'll be "eatin' good". Nutria bisque? You darn right.
2) We Can Make Something Out Of Nothing - Cajuns hold literally thousands of U.S. patents in machinery, oilfield equipment, medical devices and much more. We're problem solvers, and we're really very good at it. Not only are we good at it, but we enjoy it. The zombie apocalypse will no doubt present many problems and issues, but we'll solve every one of them, and we'll have a great time while doing it.
3) Swamps - Can you think of a better place to survive the oncoming hordes of zombies than a swamp? Actually, There's one other place that's better, but we'll get to that in a minute. Seriously, a swamp is a perfect, natural defense against zombies. Alligators will take care of many of the zombies that shamble into the swamps. The marshy, muddy landscape will take care of the rest. A zombie can't walk through that mud. Also, being that we're Cajuns, we've got all we need to survive in the swamps. Bring it on walkers!
4) Oil Platforms - Possibly an even better option than swamps when it comes to the zombie apocalypse. Zombies just will absolutely not be able to get to you on an oil platform in the Gulf Of Mexico. You've got a pretty endless food supply as well swimming around, and you'll finally be able to get that fishing time in you've been daydreaming about. The couple of things I don't like about this are that you're kind of a target for pirates, and you're kind of trapped. However, you'll see trouble coming from miles away. Not a bad way to ride out the apocalypse though, and probably the safest option.
5) Cajun French - In the zombie apocalypse, communication will be paramount. In most cases, secretive communication could mean the difference between life and death. Being able to privately communicate needs, location and strategy with people you trust could prove invaluable. People looking to find out what resources we have and where we might have them won't be to figure out what we're talking about. Government and military won't be able to figure out what we're talking about either which, depending on the situation, could be really useful. Speaking Cajun French will also be a way of finding out who we think we can trust as well. If we come across someone who can speak it, we'll know that more than likely they're friend, not foe.