Somewhere in my vivid imagination I see a panda version of Jerry Springer hosting a panda version of the Jerry Springer Show. I see panda trash female of the species on stage being quizzed by a puzzled Springer panda.

The crowd is full of a vast cross section of the panda community hooting and hollering and yelling out insults. That's the kind of stuff that goes through my  mind when I hear that a wild animal, with man's help, has learned how to fake a pregnancy so it can get better treatment.

Here is the actual story.  A panda in a Chinese wildlife preserve began to exhibit the signs of being with child. Those signs if aren't familiar with panda body language, are not eating, acting tired, a surge in hormones and the unpredictable behavior they bring.

As you might imagine the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Research Centre staff was giddy with excitement. A panda born in captivity is a rare thing indeed. This was such a huge deal the research center had planned a live twenty-four hour a day television feed so people could watch the panda give birth.

As luck would have it, the panda in question, Ai HIn, was apparently faking the behavior so she would be moved to an air conditioned habitat. She would receive better care and more food too. That little vixen! Excuse me, that overly huge vixen!

It turns out that this kind of behavior is not uncommon at all. Many endangered species in particular exhibit this kind of behavior to get the extra perks. These animals are not dumb, they see what happens when one of their buddies is getting extra carrots and grub worms for dinner.  They are already in jail, why not break another rule or two, what are they going to do?

So those of you who were looking for a blessed event  panda style now have only memories of a blessed event Jerry Springer style. I've often wondered why can't man be more like animals, then I realize we are more alike than any of us really wants to admit.