I wanted to write this headline as "Lawmaker Visits Proctologist, Has Head Removed". But that would probably be to harsh for Representative Steve Carter of Baton Rouge. I am sure Mr. Carter is a learned man. He might also be a complete idiot if he thinks his restrictions on athletic travel legislation would fly in this sports crazy state of Louisiana.

Mr. Carters brilliant idea to save the state money was this. He wanted to restrict state university athletic teams from traveling more than 375 miles to any contest. The one exception was LSU. Hey Mr. Carter are you a bit biased?

We certainly wouldn't want schools like the University of Louisiana located in Lafayette or Louisiana Tech or Southern University to be exposed to potential students outside Mr. Carter's travel zone.  Mr. Carter it's pompous, self-indulging, closed minded thinkers like you that create such animosity for the state's flagship university.

Yesterday it was revealed that  Mr. Carter's brain returned to reality or maybe he was taking allergy medication and it finally wore off. He pulled the legislation. Great idea sir. Now you're just kind of a laughing stock instead of a full blown jackass.

I’m trying to save a few dollars. I’m trying to make a point, is this where these dollars need to be spent?

That's what the esteemed Mr. Carter told the Louisiana Radio Network. Hey, if we really want to save money let's include LSU in the mix too. Oh wait Mr. Carter is a graduate of LSU. Anybody surprised by that nugget?

Sir, I would like to believe your heart is in the right place. I would like to believe that you are thinking with a clear mind. I am probably more inclined to think that you really are flexible enough to assume a physical position that might be described as "bending over backwards in such a way that you could examine your own rectum, from the inside"

Mr. Carter I know you might feel I have disrespected you and your office but to quote a kindergarten student I once knew, "You started it."