Spending The Day In Jail

KPEL personality Tootie Landry is back with a whole new segment: “Off the Grid.” It’s a segment where she goes places and does things you either don't know about or are not willing to do.

In this edition of “Off the Grid,” Tootie spends a day in the Lafayette Parish Jail.

'I'm Tootie Landry and this is 'Off the Grid!''

Let's face it. We all know at least one person who's been there. We check daily to see who is now living in this facility. And on any given night up to 1200 people call this place their home. It's a city within a city. And I'm not talking about River Ranch!

This past Friday night I decided to check into the Lafayette Parish Correctional Center. In other words, I spent the night in jail! Since I've never been arrested, I'm really not sure what to expect. I'm feeling pretty brave at this point. However, while going through the booking process, I immediately hear a CODE RED! All the guards are running and it's getting chaotic real fast. O.M.G.! This is like " A Few Good Men" meeting 'Shawshank Redemption!' It's confirmed. I'm in over my head. Again!

After getting booked, I'm fingerprinted, and get to take my "Glamour Shot." I'm really trying to look my best, since they are not using Instagram. I was then ordered to put on my orange jumpsuit with the matching CROCS. I was a 'lil disappointed since black and white are usually my colors. I even tried on different sizes of the suits. It kinda felt like being in the dressing room at Dillard's.

Then I was taken up to the 5th floor, placed in lockdown in cell #2, given an Offender's Handbook, which gave me something to read to pass the time, a few toiletries and a blanket. I'm wondering, 'Hmmm, will I have a mint on my pillow?'

As I was locked down for the night and the guard exited, my new roomies in the Pod immediately came over. And I thought, 'Oh the Welcoming Committee!' Not really. They all wanted to know my charges and if I had any contraband! I wanted to act tough, but instead was planning my great escape. Crap! I forgot my son's Raquel Welch Poster!

The night was long. Since I wasn't interested in talking to inmates through the toilets, I prayed. Yep! I was praying the guards at shift change knew I was there only to get a story! I couldn't sleep, since my bed was as hard as the sidewalk in front of my house.

At 4:00 a.m., breakfast was served. Really? 4:00 a.m.? The chickens aren't even up to lay the eggs! I got room service since I was in lockdown. At 6:00 a.m., I kindly told the guard, I'm innocent and was ready to go home. I'm praying I'm not the next star in the movie 'Dead Man Walking, the Sequel!'

And finally, my only regret, I never got to choose anything from the floating Gift Shop. In other words, I missed out on the Commissary!

And I'm Tootie Landry and I'm 'Off the Grid!'"

To listen to Tootie's "Off the Grid" segment, CLICK BELOW: