The website Cracked recently got some inside information from a package handler who works with UPS. I too am an alumni of the boys in brown. I worked for UPS for less than a day. We both decided that my attention span, or lack of attention span, did not mesh with the "Tightest Ship in the Shipping Business" Philosophy.

Here are some of the suggestions this UPS employee offered if you want your package to arrive on time and in the best shape possible.

The Word Fragile Is Meaningless: We all like to write that word on the side of our packages. Ever since the word Fragile was featured in A Christmas Story we've all dreamed of our packages being treated with special care because of that label. Here's the truth, an average worker for UPS might handle 250 to 300 packages an hour. They do their best but "fragile" isn't going to do much.

Make Your Package Look Like A Gift: This can be accomplished with holiday stickers and even a bow or ribbon. The coup de grace is having a message written in crayon on the outside. It needs to look as if it was written by a child for the maximum impact.

Reusing Boxes Usually Causes Problems: If you've ever tried to totally remove the old stickers off a package box you know just how hard that is. That extra "traffic" on the outside of the box can confuse the automated scanners and slow down delivery. Used boxes have also been through the system before. That means their physical integrity might be compromised. Recycling is great, just recycle with care.

Follow The Shipping Instructions: This is especially important if you do have a lost or damaged package. By following the instructions the company provides your request for reimbursement will be processed faster and with less hassle. Getting mad and blaming the customer service representative will only slow the  process down. Be nice, after all Santa could be watching.

Another tip we can pass along is to mail your stuff early. The later in the game it gets the more likely there is to be an incident involving your package. When package shippers aren't under the gun and pressed to the limits they can and will do a better job on your behalf.