Lafayette Driving Or “Dumb & Dumber”

I want to start out this little written diatribe by saying that I am far from perfect......at anything, especially driving, but I do work hard to obey traffic signals and signs.  What I can't figure out is where some of the people in our community, or those visiting our community, get their driver's licenses from.  Do they send off for them after getting three proofs of purchase from their favorite cereal??  Do they put a quarter in a gumball type machine at the local big box store?

I have dubbed some drivers “Dumb and Dumber” for their outlandishly stupid behavior.  Inside my head while driving down the street I often wonder, “What the heck is wrong with these people”?  A few weeks ago I was leaving a parking lot trying to turn onto a street with a boulevard dividing the lanes of traffic.  There I am waiting patiently for my turn to go, and three cars, in a row, decided they would take a u-turn in the divider, right in front of the no u-turn sign!  THREE IN A ROW!  I was stunned.  Not that it mattered to my safety, but I just sat there wondering, “Has the whole world gone to pot?  What the heck is the matter with you people?  Can’t you see the sign?  Do you even care?”  That’s when it dawned on me, no one really cares anymore.

Working on this theory that “no one really cares anymore” has kind of put me in a sort of Zen frame of mind while driving now.  Why should I care if three cars in a row all make a u-turn right in front of the sign?  Since no one cares, I am considering starting to drive in real life. like I want to drive in my day-dreams.  I plan to “salute” drivers who cut me off.  I plan to pass drivers who pass me up, only to get in front of me so they can slow down.  Only this time, I will get in front of their car, slam on my breaks, give the “salute” and then laugh my crazy laugh.  To drivers who like to ride my tail because I am the only person left who obeys the speed limit, I could radio ahead to my co-traffic-conspirator that an idiot will be speeding by anytime and have them lay out the spike strip just so I can ride by slowly and do the “royal wave”.  I could start chasing drivers talking on cell phones, and then I could hold up notes on a notebook with clever sayings like, “You left your purse on the roof” or “The rim on your left tire is coming off” just to see how fast they would be forced to pull over.

After all of this fun however, I would probably come to my senses.  I would just realize that many drivers here are CRAZY! That they don’t care if you honk at them, “salute” them or yell at them….they are still going to be the same horrible drivers because they are SELFISH, and that’s why many drivers fall under the category of “Dumb and Dumber”!