The CDC Zombie Plan Sucks. Here’s Things You’d Need In Louisiana
When the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) put out their "Zombie Preparedness" guide, we knew they were making it into a bit of a joke. They obviously don't believe zombies are coming...right?
Inside the CDC "Zombie" blog, they explain a little about their view of zombies:
"We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born."
Which by this point, we all pretty much know the concept of zombies. But what the CDC was trying to push along was the "preparedness" aspect of a zombie outbreak. Which they honestly were just pushing their normal preparedness speech under the false title of "zombie outbreak".
Yeah, I'm being serious.
Their list includes things like water, food, medications, and "important documents". First of all, who's going to be able to measure out exactly how much water everyone's going to need for each day of this apocalypse? Which is what the CDC wants you to do. Or why would you pack "important documents"? Which they list as birth certificate and passport, among others. Like zombies will want to see your passport photo before deciding whether or not they want your brains?
They didn't even list guns or ammo.
Anyway, we decided to make a more realistic approach to a zombie outbreak, and to make it more Louisiana. Things you're going to need to consider for our climate specifically. Here's the list...