Ten Commandments Of The Beach – Not Necessarily The News

In this edition of "Not Necessarily The News," Tootie Landry gives the "ten commandments" of how not to spend your time at the beach this summer.

Hey! I’m Tootie Landry and this is what I found out today! Yesterday, I was talking to a friend and we both agreed it won’t be long before there will be a mass exodus from Acadiana to Florida for the Summer. It’s kind of like Moses leading us all out of captivity to the “Promised Sand!” Moses probably won’t be going up any mountain top; instead he’ll just stop at the Florabama and give us all the “Beach Vacation 10 Commandments.” I just got a copy, so I thought I’d share it.

#1- Honor thy Father and Mother, but not after they’ve had 6 Pina Colada’s!

#2- Thou shall not kill all the sand crabs on the beach or a case of beer in the afternoon.

#3- Thou shall not make the Gulf of Mexico my “potty!” You know who you are! You separate from the group and drift aimlessly in the water!

#4- You won’t bare your midriff muffin top for God and others to witness.

#5- Thou shall not wear a speedo!

#6- Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s beach chair.

#7- I won’t put more oil on my body than in my cooking pot!

#8- Thou shall not drink any beverage with an umbrella in it! I’ll keep my umbrella for the beach.

#9- I’ll not take Jimmy Buffet’s name in vain.

#10- To remember the Sabbath… It’s Sunday, might be time to go home.

And finally, remember the words of Moses, “Let my people go?” Now don’t listen to everything Moses said, because we don’t want you wandering around Florida for 40 years! And I’m Tootie Landry and this is “Not Necessarily the News!”