It looks as if I picked the wrong lifetime to quit drinking. Granted it's been more than a couple of decades since I last misplaced my car, I still like to keep up with what is getting the other drunks in trouble. Since I have been off the sauce I have managed to miss the whole flavored vodka fad, the martini fad, the hard seltzer fad, and apparently I am about to be on the outside looking in at the latest boozy beverage to make waves across the world, Long Drink.

Now, if I was still a drinker and wanted to justify my use of Long Drink I would start by telling those around me, this beverage was invented for the Olympic Games. No, not the Olympics that start in a little over a month in China but the Olympics of Helsinki Finland. Yeah, it was before my time too, in fact, it was back in 1952.

Chris Karidis via Unsplash.com
Chris Karidis via Unsplash.com
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It was during the time of those Olympics that venue organizers realized they had a chance to make a little money, okay a lot of money, off of alcohol sales. If you're not familiar with Finland, here's a webcam live look to give you an idea of what kind of place we are talking about.

Hmm, it does look a little "brisk" doesn't it? It's also very beautiful and very cold. So, Finnish entrepreneurs wanted to create a beverage that would warm the insides of those standing outside. Even though the games of Helsinki were the Summer Games.

The beverage had to not only deliver alcohol to the body, it also needed to taste good. Well, this is where I might argue the point but I don't care for drinks made with grapefruit. Yeah, Long Drink is one of those kinds of a drink. It includes gin, citrus, usually grapefruit juice, soda or tonic water, and ice.

I think the closest taste experience you may have had, assuming you've never tried Long Drink, would be if you had Gin and Fresca. It's going to be one of those cocktails you sip. And when you sip the beverage you can feel that "bite" in the back of your mouth near your jawline. Yeah, you know the feeling.

Some other marketing hooks for Long Drink include all-natural ingredients and it's gluten-free. So based on some people's idea of healthy foods Long Drink could be the next Impossible Whopper. 

Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images
Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images
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Long Drink is currently the best selling booze in Finland and it is starting to make in-roads in the United States market. Chances are American distributors will market the beverage as a "hard seltzer" similar to White Claw but they'll have to change some things up as hard seltzers are starting to show a decline in sales.

As of earlier this year, Long Drink was only available in 15 states. I suspect by the end of the year more and more people will have access to it. Or, perhaps if it remains sequestered people will hire Burt Reynolds and Jerry Reed to drive to Helsinki to get some and bring it back by the truckload. Somehow I don't think "Sven and the Bandit" will be quite as popular as that other movie but it would still be better than any of the sequels.

Jerry Reed with Burt Reynolds in GATOR
United Artists/Courtesy of Getty Images
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Regardless, if you've had Long Drink you know and if you hadn't you'll be trying it before the end of the year. Just remember you've been warned. So, finish up all the extra White Claw, you don't want to be behind the times when it comes to alcohol consumption.

Since we have an Olympic connection in this story, how about we really mix things up.

Southern Hobbies Added To Olympics